It’s a good thing you’re family…

Or else, I’d have to be quite pissed. Managed to get cornered at the Easter dinner last night…and it was my own damn fault. If I’d been more vague about ordination plans, then I probably could have dodged it, but silly me, I went a head and tried to explain things.

“So are you gay?”

That’s usually one of those signs that one has gone too far in a queer affirming conversation. Yet it’s also a little too late to backpedal. I would have been more upset, but I trust my Aunt and I know it’s not going to be gossiped around, but I was unnerved by the timing. So nothing more to do than forge ahead and try to sort things out.

I do my best to explain, and for the sake of simplicity, I don’t bother upsetting gender binaries and just say “bisexual” since that seems to be something she’s heard of before. I wasn’t going to be taking bets on “gender indifferent attraction.” “Omnisexual” got passed over on the basis of it sounds creepy.

It’s a good thing she’s family, and I know, trust, and care about her. Because I’m sure in genuine lack of knowledge, she asked some of the classics of Unfortunate Things To Say. There was an implication that straight women wouldn’t want to marry a “gay” man, and that “could you ever be happy with one person?” and that crap. I dunno, maybe the whole time I was talking about how it was more important to me that my church recognize my marriage than what the state thought…maybe that was a clue about how I felt about monogamy? I can’t be too angry…she is family, and she really didn’t know.

So I try to explain, I try to be patient and all. I use my perennially lame example of how some people like persons of different hair color, but usually settle down with one… I’ve had it pointed out to me that that hair dye is readily available in most drug stores, but I’ve yet to come across a better “so simple it can’t get screwed up or politicized in the wrong way” exemplar. But the problem isn’t just in my poor choice of metaphors. It’s with trying to “explain” myself all in one sitting. Especially while sitting at the kitchen counter at my grandfather’s house.

At any rate, this should be interesting. Coming out and extended family were two concepts I had never thought to bring together. We’ll see how this all goes.

-sly

Advertisements