I’m having the strangest conversation in my head right now, so I might as well have it here, too.

I’m writing about a pssage in Jeremiah (20:7-8) that has language that seems to evoke images to rape. The prophet says he was duped/enticed/seduced by God, and that God has overcome/overpowered/dominated him with God’s prophetic word. The translation people choose usually depends on their political valence, and I don’t know nearly enough Hebrew to make an intelligent choice of my own. And i certainly don’t know if the prophet is over-romanticizing sexual violence with these words, or if he’s recording a real and painful history of being assualted.

Since I can’t say anything really very productive with any authority, I’m trying to figure out how to mention this, and at least raise the issue without being insincere, overreaching, or dismissive. Did I mention that my TA tends to be more conservative? So the only two human beings who are likely to ever read this essay are me who already knows what I mean in all my wordless inarticulation…and someone who doesn’t want to see “liberal theory” anyhow.

Am I selling out if I downplay my treatment, or simplify it to something that she’s willing to read? I wonder if I’m underestimating her, or overestimating the importance of anything that I write.

I suppose if I’m going to be a student, I might as well be an overwrought, angsty one…

And I also suppose I should just write whatever makes the most sense, and hope for the best.