Well, damn. I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. A lot. In comments both blogular and otherwise, Sly and his author have been labeled hopeless cynics.

The above title is from the thread that I linked to in my last post…apparently, interrupting a expression of ablism is a cynical act. Perhaps I should have ignored the obvious? Or is expecting change somehow a cynical act? My gawd! I’ve become cynical again…right now!

I digress, for there is, however, a grain of truth to that. I am a cynic. Deeply suspicious of just about everything, especially myself, I will err on the side of doubt on many occasions. I just disagree about this being a personality flaw.

Sly just got some very serious news the other day, and to be honest, I still don’t know how to handle it. There’s a lot that’s just out of my hands, but…it still leaves me a bit numb. It hurts to see how senseless and cruel this world can be. It hurts to see the people I love get hurt.

I am a cynic for a reason. It’s because I do have a heart. And I don’t know how to care about the people I love in a world like this if i don’t have a side of myself that can be terrible and harsh. I may not yet believe in cold blooded murder, but without some capacity to deal with evil… What is it exactly that the perfectly sincere person says to the world?

I believe in the worst of human kind because I’ve seen it. I don’t think that dark cynicism is the only authentic response to knowing the truth of the world. But it has been a part of mine. To me…hope is that which my cynicism protects.