Everything that happens, happens twice or more. Every journey, some one has taken those steps before. I’m watching my life play back over itself, and I couldn’t be more scared. Everything that had been catching my breath down in the depths of my throat has come to reside with me again. Strangely enough, I am in good health…and for all I’ve done to worry, I have not had the panic attacks or felt the destroying grip of depression. I’m just…scared. Of life, of death, just in terrible awe of how they come to meet.

I have precious few details myself, and even fewer that I can commit to words. Some danger is now passed, and I turn to wonder how we heal. Other shoals are still ahead, and I pray for deliverance.

The reading today in Chapel strangely fit my mood. Read for reasons much different than my hearing, it was a selection from Psalm 139.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways…thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

Every journey, someone has taken those steps before.