I’m still working on my stuff on Boundless, which will be the first of a loose series on responding to religious rhetorics…but I have a feeling it’s going to wait until spring break, which is coming up this friday.

But not all of my writing should be churchy stuff. I know some of y’all don’t really do that, and I try to be nice about that.

I was talking with a friend last night, and she bequeathed me with a phrase I shall have to use.

“Down for the fight.”

Offhand, she referred to a male colleague who didn’t just get it, but took action without prompting and made sure to interrupt a likely expression of sexism. He went to someone who was seeking to give him privilege, and clarified that he wanted to make sure his qualified female friends were being considered for the same.

Damn. That’s nice, ain’t it? Someone just up and did the right thing.

Which brings me to the point. In another conversation (i would come up with random names as to cease confusing y’all, but half of these are total composites anyway to protect the innocent, guilty and the cute widdle puppies) someone told me that they weren’t sure if they would feel comfortable dating a person who identified as bi.

My reactions are thus:

1. That’s great, I don’t identify as bi anyways!
2. #$%^!
3. Whatever. On your own time, I guess.

I’m not gonna lie. Snark and anger are the first two things i feel when someone says something so painfully anti-queer. It’s stupid. And whatever you’ve done trying to be an ally doesn’t pardon that off. Maybe it comes out of a sense of hurt, or confusion, or just plain ignorance. Maybe it’s something else entirely, that I don’t understand.

Which is just the way I like it.

“Whatever. On your own time, I guess.”

I’m still friends with the person who said this to me…hell, I’m friends with almost all of the people who have said this to me. I’m not given to that kind of hand holding, so if you’re gonna change your mind, that’s probably on you and maybe if you’re lucky a really awesome straight ally. And most of the times I’ve heard this, I’ve also heard an acknowledgment of that…that they know they’re not right, but that they “just aren’t there yet.” A confidential to every candidate for the Dem nomination…where this might be vaguely annoying in personal life, it’s fucking irrational as a basis for public policy. Screw off. Watch me vote for BFP as a write in as soon as I figure out her real name. Yeah, bet you didn’t count on that, hunh.

Where was I? Not being there yet…for the average person, is fine in the sense that it kind of comes standard with the human condition. You’re trying to be a good person, trying to understand and support queer people in their struggle. No cookie, though. Cookies are for people who are down for the fight.

You just made a plain, honest admission to holding a queerphobic view, and that you don’t have immediate plans to divest yourself of this opinion. Your relative level of guilt surrounding this doesn’t really interest me, and to be honest, it’s kind of drain to have to try to reassure folks when this happens that I don’t hate them. I don’t, but who wants to have to go through the song and dance after hearing something asinine? Just go. Deal. On your own time, in your own space. Like you’d expect from me when it comes to matters close to your own heart.

Maybe some folks aren’t down for the fight yet.

I hope we will be.

-slyc

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